We stayed here for a week at Astra Village Resort and Spa in Svoronata, Kefalonia, on an all-inclusive basis, and unfortunately it was one of the most underwhelming hotel experiences we’ve had. From the moment we arrived, things went downhill. We had an early start and expected a warm welcome and a decent lunch, but were met with scraps from earlier service, no effort made at all. Drinks were extremely restricted, and as “all-inclusive” guests, we were treated like second-class citizens compared to half-board guests. Soft drinks were flat from bottles, while half-board guests were served cold cans. The slushie machine was often broken and didn’t look clean. Drinks were served in random, worn cups or half-filled glasses, with very limited choice. Meal options were poor, especially for children. Evening meals offered little variety, and lunchtime on two separate days had nothing suitable for my daughter, forcing us to pay for pizzas. Snacks were virtually non-existent, with just leftover breakfast biscuits on offer. Meat quality was poor, often overcooked, and bread was stale. Juices in the machines often didn’t work, by the last day, apple juice was finally available. The bar service was painfully slow, and we were frequently ignored if wearing an all-inclusive wristband, with half-board guests served first, even if they arrived later. Drinks (including water) were only available between 10:30am and 10:30pm, before or after these times even a bottle of water cost extra. Cleanliness was another huge let-down. Room towels were only changed once during the week. Pool towels were old, scruffy, and could only be changed once unless you paid extra — and even then, they often didn’t have clean ones available. The balcony was never swept or mopped, and when we dropped something under the bed, we were shocked by the amount of dirt, dust, and hairs. Cats wandered around the property, with empty food cans left on the paths attracting ants. The pool toilets were unclean and awkwardly located down slippery marble stairs, very unsafe especially for small children. Staff presentation was poor, with no uniforms except for one man, not to mention the barman wearing T-shirts referencing drugs. The restaurant staff we spoke to were pleasant and seemed embarrassed by the restrictions placed on all-inclusive guests (for example, being told we couldn’t have a simple shandy as it wasn’t on our menu was crazy). Tourist tax could only be paid in cash, with no option for card payment which felt questionable and suspicious as the card machine was operational for food and drinks. The only positives? The sun loungers and parasols were good quality, although they were crammed in far more tightly than the brochure suggested. The hotel exterior itself looks newly decorated and the gardens were maintained. Not to forget, the entertainment was dire, the “Greek jazz” act was painfully bad, more like Moaning Myrtle from Harry Potter than anything resembling live music. Overall, this hotel is absolutely not a 4-star hotel. The experience was frustrating, unwelcoming, and disappointing. Sadly we won’t return to this hotel and cannot recommend it. On the plus side, if you can find a good hotel, the island of Kefalonia is beautiful and seeing the turtles was incredible.