If you’re looking for peace, tranquillity and a proper switch-off, this is the place. Perched remotely in Corfu, it feels like you’ve escaped the world — in the best way possible. On arrival we were greeted (not by staff, but by another guest) with the words: “Have you just arrived? This is the worst hotel I’ve ever been to. They’re pumping sewage into the sea and you’ll wait an hour for a cart or the funicular. I'm leaving today - i only arrived yesterday, i've managed to get a tranfer to another hotel” Not exactly the welcome you dream of within your first five minutes. However, i would like to say to that guest — You must have been staying at a different hotel! Did we wait for golf carts? Yes. Did we wait for the funicular lift? Yes. Was it ever an hour? Absolutely not. The longest was about 10 minutes, and we expected that because (like sensible travellers) we’d read reviews before booking. And the sewage at the beach - ermmmm..... we you at a different beach too?!? Anyway - back to my honest review: We stayed in room 453 with a swim-up pool and honestly, it was bliss. The water temperature was spot on every day, and the terrace loungers were so comfortable they deserve their own five-star rating. Housekeeping were the absolute stars of the show — always smiling, always friendly, and made us feel properly cared for. The main restaurant was a pleasant surprise: varied, plentiful, and even great vegan options. Shout-outs to Paulina, Ismini and Thomassis, who were a real credit to the hotel — so friendly and genuinely going above and beyond. Reception staff were equally wonderful: super quick check-in (we had a private transfer and were welcomed with a drink that hit the spot), and despite seeing a few coach transfer queues during our stay, we noticed the team dealt with them swiftly. Magda and Magdalena especially made us feel right at home. And George on the golf cart — what a gem! Honestly, give that man a medal. Evenings were exactly as advertised: low-key, relaxed and lovely. Sitting with a drink after dinner while listening to live background music was such a treat, with different vibes each night. Some guests treated it like they were at a Jess Glynne concert (front row at the O2!), which made us chuckle — but honestly, it was lovely to see people enjoying their holiday with such gusto. A huge mention must go to Christine — honestly, one of the best hotel staff we’ve ever met. Always friendly, attentive, polite and never without a smile. An absolute joy. And Odassis (apologies if I’ve spelled that wrong!) at the White Pearl — excellence personified. WOW. Now for a couple of quirks. Although we didn;t use the main pool area during the day, on the occasions we did pop up for a change of scenery or a great cup of coffee, it was sun-lounger reservations at dawn. Towels as far as the eye can see. Still, even with the squeeze, it felt calm enough. As for the all-inclusive, we didn’t really feel the benefit with a swim-up room. Yes, the minibar is topped up — but it’s a bit hit and miss. My personal highlight? Being handed a Diet Pepsi with a raised eyebrow and the words: “Again? But you had one yesterday.” Nothing like being rationed on holiday! In hindsight, if we book a swim-up again, we’d probably just go full board and stock the fridge ourselves. One final mention: we spotted a small communication hiccup and mentioned it to guest relations as a simple FYI. Their response absolutely floored us — so warm, so appreciative, and they offered something really special by way of thanks. Huge credit to the hotel manager and guest relations team. Overall, the Atlantica Grande Mediterraneo is a slice of calm with some truly wonderful staff. The swim-up pool was heaven, the service from certain individuals unforgettable, and while the Pepsi police gave us a laugh, it’s a hotel we’d happily return to — armed with a fridge full of our own drinks next time.