Tried my hardest to have a positive outlook on my honeymoon, but there's only so much one can take. We paid $15,000 USD for a 10-night all-inclusive stay. At that price point, we weren’t expecting true 5-star luxury, but we certainly weren’t expecting the worst vacation of our lives. This resort doesn’t even feel like 4 stars. The furniture was dated and stained with who-knows-what, and there were ants crawling everywhere, on the bar counter, sofas, walls, balcony, absolutely everywhere. On night two, a live cockroach waltzed into our living room. We called the concierge, and someone came to tell us the room would be sprayed again the next day, which they likely did while we were out. Night four is when things really went south. As we were about to sleep, I heard rustling by the bedside table. I checked a sealed bag of plantain chips sitting there and found an uneven opening near the top, clear signs of a rodent trying to get in. Horrified, we called the concierge again. Two staff members showed up quickly, searched the room thoroughly (even moving the bed), and eventually caught something. I regret asking to see it, what I saw will haunt me forever. After that, there was no way I could sleep in that room, so they moved us to a different cabin. That room's AC didn’t cool properly despite being set to 16°C, but honestly, I was too scared to sleep anyway. There’s very little to do at this resort beyond lounging by the pool or beach. No offense to the other vacationers, but most were retirement-age, which made it feel like we were at a nursing home. Maybe that’s why the food was so bland. The resort also has a baffling rule that men can’t wear open-toed shoes to dinner. My husband had a painful blister and couldn’t wear closed shoes, so we ended up ordering room service, which had a very limited menu. That meant repeating the same few meals over and over. To top it off, the dinner hostess on our third night was incredibly rude, unnecessarily dismissive and haughty. It was jarring because everyone else had been polite up to that point. There was no one else at dinner that night, so she wasn’t stressed. For an all-inclusive, this place gives you a room and meals, nothing more. No recommendations, no activity planning, not even pamphlets at the concierge desk. We had to figure out everything ourselves. The only included snacks were two bags of plain plantain chips, which were supposed to be replenished daily, but that didn’t always happen unless you asked. We could’ve gotten the same (if not better) quality of vacation for half the price somewhere else. I’d give the amenities 2 stars, and the service 2.5, maybe 3 if not for that dinner hostess. No luggage stands either, we had to keep our suitcases on the floor the entire stay. Which, after ratatouille and Mr. Cockroach, made me feel even more on edge. I’m trying not to let it ruin my memories of our honeymoon, because that’s a once-in-a-lifetime thing. We’ll take more trips in the future, but never again to this resort. I probably need therapy to unpack this experience. In short: worst vacation of my life. This wasn’t a country-specific issue either; after four nights we switched to another resort nearby, and the difference was night and day. That resort actually was 5 stars. The staff at this place, while mostly kind and responsive, weren’t enough to overcome everything else: the pest issues, the dull food, the lack of things to do, the uncomfortable rooms, and the steep price tag. I don’t deal with pests at home and certainly don’t expect to meet them on vacation. And this isn’t coming from an inexperienced traveler, we typically pay for comfort and quality, and we expect that to be delivered. This trip scarred me so badly that we’re considering taking a break from international travel entirely. Home vacations are sounding a lot more appealing right now.