I don’t usually write reviews, but after this holiday I felt compelled. The glowing comments I’d read beforehand had given me high hopes for a relaxing break in the sun — sadly, reality was a little different. Let’s start with the big one: the food. If you’re a die-hard fan of pizza or pasta, congratulations, you’ve just found paradise. For the rest of us, however, the options were… limited, to say the least. Lunch and dinner in the main restaurant are ordered through an app and brought to your table. Yes, it’s cooked fresh, which sounds great in theory, but when the menu is about as exciting as a blank Word document, the novelty wears off fast. For the first time ever, I came home from an all-inclusive holiday feeling lighter — not because I’d hit the gym, but because I couldn’t find enough to eat. Poolside food didn’t help either. Only available from the main pool, the app menu offered the usual suspects — chips, burgers, fast food staples — but “greasy” and “half-cooked” were the two recurring themes. That said, credit where it’s due: the Smokehouse/Grill we tried one evening was excellent, with fresh cooked food and attentive staff. Of course, this was only because we were paying extra for the privilege as not all the food was included. Oh, and the desserts? Surprisingly good. Clearly made off-site and delivered in, but still — a sweet win in a sea of disappointments. Food scores: • Breakfast: 5/10 (buffet style, perfectly average) • Lunch: 3/10 (app-order roulette) • Dinner: 3/10 (ditto) • Pool food: 2/10 (crispy chips) Now, about that “5-star” rating. I’ve stayed in a 5-star before, but I’m fairly confident this wasn’t one. Staff often looked like they’d rather be anywhere else, and at one point I watched employees being scolded by a manager in Greek while I was waiting for a drink — not exactly luxury vibes. Speaking of drinks, if you enjoy cocktails that taste like melted Haribo with a dash of soda, you’ll love it here. If you actually want alcohol in your alcohol, bring your wallet to the bar.. We ended up buying branded drinks, which at least tasted like they contained the advertised ingredients. And finally, the sunbeds. Imagine lying down on a plank of wood and thinking, “this could be softer.” That about sums it up. I’m convinced prison mattresses are more forgiving. Final thoughts. TikTok and other platforms make this place look incredible, and I’ll admit, I was sold. But if I’d dug a little deeper into the less flattering reviews beforehand, I would never have booked. Lesson learned: don’t trust influencers, especially the ones sipping their “all-inclusive” orange juice disguised as cocktails