Not sure where to begin with this and I will try to be as positive and constructive as possible. I have to say that I feel very deflated and extremely disappointed with the experience that we have recently had at the Mirage Bleu hotel in Zante. Please be under no illusions this is not a 5-star hotel and does not even get close to the 5-star all-inclusive resort that it claims to be. Whether this rating is from the Greek tourist board in order to generate a higher income from the tourist tax which you have to pay (15 euro per night for 5 star) or the owners who have false aspirations I am not sure but there are a number of basic shortcomings that if addressed would make the tourist experience so much better. Upon arriving at the hotel there was no one to meet you and you carried your own luggage down a slope ( approximately 30 metres) into reception which was clean, not particularly spacious or inviting. To get our WiFi access, we had to take a photo using a phone to get a code to use in our room. We arrived around 8.30pm and after the usual check-in process, we were taken to our room on a buggy and we were shown the workings of the usual amenities that the room had to offer TV Safe, Air con etc. As we were a little late arriving, we made our way to the restaurant for what can only be described as “interesting”. Whilst I appreciate, we were a little late in dining (9.00pm) the choice of food available was very restricted and not particularly appetising so we decided to retire to our room somewhat deflated by the experience naively thinking that tomorrow will be better……how wrong we were. Dining The dining experience at breakfast and evening meal were both buffet style which I am ok with however I have never been to a five-star hotel where you don’t at least get served with morning beverages. There is a small area adjacent to what I would call a food station area where you got your food and drinks from and there were approximately 30 seats where you could eat, if you were not there early enough you had to climb 2 sets of marble stairs up to a sun terrace. I can’t even start to imagine how difficult it would be for people with restricted mobility having to carry plates of food upstairs. On a positive note, there was a lift available. On a negative note, smokers and non-smokers sat together however I appreciate this is not the UK and dining is outside. On a couple of occasions I spoke to staff when I noticed food had been spilt on the stairs, but nothing appeared to be done this is just an accident waiting to happen. Throughout the stay, the quality and variety of the food were below expectations for a hotel that claims to be 5 stars: There was a very limited menu in terms of variety, the same breakfast for 7 days, a very poor lunch menu, which appeared to be replicated either at dinner on the same day or the following day.- Dinner was similarly lacking in variety or creativity and the food was usually cold to the point where we ate out for 4 of the 7 nights. As far as the snacks out of normal dining hours was concerned this was almost non-existent and once what was available had run out the staff had no interest in replenishing the food. There was however plenty of ice cream available 24/7. Swimming Pool /Bar Area This was quite an eventful experience There was 2 pools available to everyone and in addition like we did you could upgrade your room to have a private pool. I think the young men running the bar all had aspirations on becoming DJs in Ibiza and were preoccupied with playing 90’s rave music as loud as they could rather than looking after the guests. If I had wanted an 18-30 rave holiday I would have booked one!!!. And to cap it all off other guests felt it was OK to bring their own speakers to the pool and play their own music loudly, almost in competition to the aspiring DJ employees. I do however appreciate that this Is not the hotel’s fault, and some patrons do not care about other guests but again nothing was said by any of the staff. On one occasion I was told that the bar had run out of beer, running out of ice happened a couple of times as did sparkling water-astonishing! Lack of staff on the bar also caused waiting times for drinks to be unacceptable and the peak season hasn’t even really started yet. I appreciate why you were not allowed to have glasses round the pool however the flimsy nature of the ones provided meant that sometimes they would split meaning it was necessary to use 2 cups-complete false economy- why not use hard plastic beakers/wine glasses? On more than one occasion when going to breakfast we noticed that there were that glasses that had not been cleared from tables around the pool from the previous night and these were finally cleared mid-afternoon. With an all-inclusive package, you also expect some entertainment. Just one hour of live music during dinner and twice a week a band on the rooftop terrace…11.00 finished, not even access to drinks at the bar. Beach One of the biggest disappointments was the access to the beach. The hotel description mentioned that the beach was right on a pebble beach. In reality it is more like 750 meters away over rough terrain and broken bricks & stones and when you get there you find out that the beach is actually a public one, again a 5-star all-inclusive hotel anomaly. Rooms. The rooms and cleanliness were very good and the cleaner we had worked tirelessly all week, and she was a credit to the resort. However, should there be water restocked in the room daily? I am not sure, but most 5-star hotels do this in my experience. The bed and pillows were fortunately good, as was the robes and towels both of which are good quality. In Conclusion. The services and facilities offered are far below the standards of a 5-star hotel. What is frustrating is that I believe that this hotel could be a 4/5-star hotel with a few simple adjustments which 5-star clients expect to receive. It’s not rocket science but if you bang the drum claiming to be a 5-star resort then this is what people expect but will be happy to pay for. Please look at your competition in regard to the small touches which believe me people do notice. In the main the staff are a credit to the hotel apart from the aspiring DJ’s who will soon move on; you just need to make sure that the final touches are done and maintained and in time this place will be the place to go. Tui Representation. There was no Tui representation at this resort which I find disappointing but was made aware of before booking however how can things be resolved with no representation on site, albeit periodically and yes I know Tui can always be contacted via the app but sometimes people need to see the shortcomings of an establishment in order to get things improved. . It would be interesting to know when Tui last visited the resort…not for a while I suspect, speaking to people at another resort they said that the Tui rep was always at their and keen to be involved with the activities on offer, particularly when drinking was involved.